David A. Windham thumbnail

Age 50

Christoffer Wilhelm Eckersberg: Ages of Man

For some time now, I’ve just been telling folks I’m “almost 50”. I’ve always wanted to be older for some reason. Perhaps it’s because I feel like age seems to equal respect. I’m particularly fond of saying to high school kids when I’m playing tennis against them. I’ve still got a couple years to go but needless to say, my age is catching up with me just like everyone else. My eyesight is starting to suffer from the screens and my doctor scheduled my first colonoscopy. Evidently, they’ve moved the first screening recommendation back to age 45 and It’s likely because we were talking about Crohn’s disease because we both had family members affected.  I likely started writing this due to the fact that it’s the only thing on my mind.  I can’t eat anything today and I’m already hungry even though I’m trying to distract myself with other work this morning. I’m certainly not looking forward to the next 24 hours. 

I was kinda thinking about backing out of the screening, but after talking with a number for folks, I heard too many stories about missed diagnosis of family members.  My dad said he liked to stay awake and watch the camera in action, but I’m opting to be put out. I did some other research and watched a live stream of a colonoscopy from UC Irvine1.  I talked with some others who’ve had the procedure…. etc.  Fast Forward post procedure: All turned out well. The doc put me on the ten year schedule because he said I had a ‘good looking’ colon. Well good on me I suppose because I’m scheduled for the next one in ten years. I’ll take any medical screening my insurance will pay for. I’d have a full CT Scan and a complete diagnostic blood test done annually. I’ve asked my gastroenterologist for a copy of the video to post here because… why not. Who doesn’t want to see the inside of my colon?  In all seriousness, I think it’s everyone’s individual responsibility to manage their own health and records. I’ve been told “doctors and lawyers: always get a second opinion” and my own doctor cited that her father had “perfect health at age 84 because he never sees doctors”. 

I think the real takeaway from the whole shindig is having to consider my own health and mortality. I’ve always thought that I had a decent take on mortality for whatever reason. I commonly use the expression that “we’re all in the process of dying”.  Two thirds of people die from age related causes2. Regardless, I’d like to delay that as long as possible with diet, exercise, and lifestyle. I do my best there even thought I’ve got a little bit of a logical fatalist3 spirit that regularly reminds me of the countless cases of causal determinism4 and to which I can easily blame my propensity to add chocolate ice cream to the shopping cart somewhat regularly. There is something inherently natural about that approach and I’ve found that the punchline in comedy often revolves around those types of truths. Aristophanes, who’s regarded as the “father of comedy” wrote5 ”How many are the things that vex my heart! Pleasures are few, so very few — just four – But stressful things are manys and thousands and heaps!” I visited my dad recently for his 71st birthday who shared a joke he had shared privately amongst several others at at a relatives funeral. My uncle Jack died to which he exclaimed… “hey y’all… Jack in a box”. Even though it got repeated by his brother and folks got mad at him, it makes me smile just thinking about it and I’ll remember that about my father long after he’s gone. 

Research suggests that people who appreciate dark humor show lower aggression, have higher IQs, and resist negative feelings more effectively6.  I’ve had a great time joking about the colonoscopy with others. It’s a great way of dealing with reality. Perhaps Sigmund Freud had it spot on when he wrote in Der Humor “The ego refuses to be distressed by the provocations of reality, to let itself be compelled to suffer”7.  The Nike slogan “Just Do It” was actually inspired by the last words of Gary Gilmore before he was executed8. As was the Pulitzer Prize winning novel by Norman Mailer, The Executioner’s Song. André Breton’s Anthology of Black Humor9 is a good starting point on the subject. I gravitate towards it. Monty Python, Kurt Vonnegut, Warren Zevon, Thomas Pynchon, etc. Do realize that when you watch Borat Subsequent Moviefilm, that Sacha Baron Cohen graduated with honours from Christ’s College, Cambridge with a degree in history10. Artists, writers, filmmakers, philosophers and that ilk have been using comedy to enlighten us for eons. 

I’m sincerely grateful that I came back with positive results having heard of so many missed diagnosis from acquaintances. The colon probe left me with two important findings in that I think it’s equally important to be proactive with your health and to mock your own mortality. Even though my take on it is just a defense mechanism, the fact of the matter is I’m still several years away from age 50. And as much as I bemoaned the whole process, I have a tendency to hang the carrot out in front of me when I’m trying to accomplish something. In this case, I decided to go pick up a new iPad pro and schedule an eye appointment as a reward. So now the whole procedure is costing me a little bit more.  As my 92 year old grandmother in-law put it so eloquently over the phone “what they were really looking for sticking a camera in your bum is money”.  Here’s to 50 more years and cheers to all of you in the process of dying. 

  1. UC Irvine Live Colonoscopy – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNYQvifia6g
  2. Aging – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ageing 
  3. Logical Fatalism – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fatalism 
  4. Causal Determinism – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Determinism#Causal_determinism 
  5. Aristophanes – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aristophanes#cite_note-74 
  6. Cognitive and emotional demands of black humor processing: the role of intelligence, aggressiveness, and mood. – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5383683/ 
  7. Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy – https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/humor/ 
  8. The Birth of ‘Just Do It’ and Other Magic Words – New York Times – https://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/20/business/media/20adco.html
  9. Anthology of Black Humor – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthology_of_Black_Humor
  10. Sacha Baron Cohen – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacha_Baron_Cohen